Strength
by Callie8M
Summary: Death seems to follow her everywhere she goes, and once again, Rose finds herself alone and broken. Who will be there to pick up the pieces? Can Rose get better, or is she doomed to slip into the darkness of pain and loss? With the help of a friend, she learns that its usually during our darkest moments that we are able to finally see the light.


**Author Note: Reviewers on this site and tumblr were requesting a Christian x Rose one-shot so I decided to write one. I put a lot of time and effort into this and leaving a review would be awesome of you guys.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA, unfortunately. **

**The prompt was: Write about weakness, strength, hurt, comfort. Has to be set at the Academy (can be students or teachers).**

**Warnings: This is pretty angsty. Self harm, death, and suicide are mentioned. Also Rose and Chris have sex quite a few times, so seriously, don't read if underage.**

**If you want a less dark Chrose story then go to my multi chapter fic called The Road Trip. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

On a warm night in the middle of August the last rays of sun could be seen glittering off the surface of a lake on the campus outskirts of St. Vladimir's Academy. It was a popular spot; used for swimming in the summer and ice-skating in the winter and had housed more then it's fair share of parties throughout the years. It was home to many animals, and even when the students were absent, the lake was always alive with noise and life. Lizards scampered through the leaves, birds sang in the trees and frogs splashed in the water. A turtle swam with the fish, catching the unlucky smallest and slowest one in it's hungry jaw. A spider had made home in the branch of the same tree, and waiting for her feeble pray to get caught in her web as it glistened from the dim light of the sunset. There was a rather large snake that lived under a tree by the northern edge of the lake, and a girl ten years ago had named him Sterk. He wasn't afraid of the kids and they could often see him hunting the smaller and weaker animals for dinner.

Along with the animal life, there were two people by the southern edge of the lake; where the water was shallowest and where the beach was the biggest. At the moment, they looked like wild animals themselves.

Neither could really explain how this current activity had started to take place. One moment they were having the argument of their life, and the next, their clothes were off.

For Rose, it was all rather blurry on the details. She was so blindly furious when she marched down to the lake to find Christian that all she could see was red, and then suddenly she was naked. Rose would never admit to being the one to smash their mouths together first, but she was pretty sure she had. And then it was hands ripping off clothes and nails and teeth on each others skin, and then he was moving inside her, like he had been made to fit perfectly in between her thighs and she thought it was a shame they were just finding that out now after ten years.

It was also a shame they had to find it out like this. Finding out her parents had died had shattered the brunette's heart like a glass vase, the emotions pouring out so fast she felt like vomiting from the intensity of it. She had settled on the most comfortable emotion, one she was very familiar with and grasped it like a lifeline, the raw angrer giving her the strength to pick up the broken pieces and continue functioning. Rose set out to find Christian, because if anyone knew about anger and loss, it was him.

She found him standing by the lake, and even she could admit that she started screaming at him about nothing, he hadn't done anything wrong, but she needed to get it out. But then he was fighting right back like he always did, and Rose didn't even know what it was about, but her heart was pounding and her blood was furiously pumping through her veins and the ice inside her seemed to melt just a little. And then her furious brown eyes fell onto his lips, and she remembered thinking that everything was over so she might as well do the one thing she'd always been afraid of. Christian was frozen like a statue at first, but then he was kissing her back ferociously and she was lost in the fire of his touch burning across every bare inch of her flesh in the low light.

At some point they had fallen to the ground, and the frenzy slowed for a little while as Christian pinned her arms above her head, his bright blue eyes staring straight into her as he entered her and she cried out at the perfect fit of him inside her, arching towards him as he thrust in and out, faster and faster until the pleasure built inside her and he groaned, black hair falling into his eyes as she wrapped her legs around his waist and slammed up and he plunged down into her. Her finger nails scrapped into his back, drawing blood, and his fingers dug into her skin hard enough to bruise, but neither noticed nor cared. They both knew they would be walking funny for days anyway.

Suddenly Christian pulled her into a sitting position so she was on his lap as he moved up into her, hitting a deeper, hidden place inside that no one had ever reached before. The pleasure bordered on pain just enough to make it more enjoyable and Rose pulled on his hair and their mouths met for another searing kiss.

He broke their mouths apart and then he was on her neck, sucking and licking and his hand found its way between their bodies, rubbing her clit harshly so she felt like she would explode from the pressure. Rose moaned loudly, gripping his biceps as she teetered on the edge.

And then Christian bit her and she was gone with a harsh scream of his name through her dry throat, and he followed her just three thrusts later with a whisper in her ear that she was too far gone to hear.

* * *

Rose awoke several hours later in the dark bedroom of her apartment. She knew without doubt that he was there, sitting in the shadows where they were both most comfortable. Silence descended over the room like a heavy blanket and she could feel his sharp gaze on her as she looked at her hands.

"There's coffee in the kitchen. Hope you like it hot."

Christian grinned a little at the innuendo she had totally missed and moved from his spot in the corner towards the door, and without thinking, she followed him to her kitchen where there was a pot of steaming hot delicious brown liquid. She focused on her task of getting a mug from the cabinet and pouring herself some, although she was very much aware his eyes still following her every move.

"You want some?"

Rose looked up for confirmation, trying to read his expression but it was like trying to read another language. He seemed to be searching her face for something, probably an explanation for what the fuck she had started before, and suddenly she remembered what had happened to cause her state of craziness. It hit her all over again like a freight train and her _Mickey Mouse_ mug went tumbling to the floor.

A buzzing sound filled her ears and she chocked on tears, eyes blurring until she couldn't see, and it was like she was that scared teenage girl again fighting against the world, trying to save everyone, though she never could. Ten years later and Dimitri had committed suicide because of his guilty conscious, Lissa and Adrian were locked up because of their magic, Mason died long ago in Spokane, Mia disappeared almost three years ago, and now her parents…Rose realized how alone she was. _All alone. All because you couldn't save them._

Rose was sure she was going to pass out, when Christian abruptly pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her. A relief like she had never known came over the brunette then, and Rose buried her face into his neck and cried like she never had before. He was literally all she had left, and though they had never done anything like they had by the lake earlier, they had been close over the past five years as they both taught at the Academy. Rose didn't know what she would do without him, especially now. _All alone. You'd be completely and totally alone without him. _And that was the most terrifying thing she could think of.

What if jumping his bones in her time of need drove him away?

"Let's go sit on the couch, away from the broken cup, okay?"

Rose looked at it as she let him pull her into the living room, wondering if that mug felt as wrecked as she did, and she suddenly had the need to pick up the pieces and put them back together. But Christian pushed her down onto the leather couch before she could, and he sat beside her, pulling her between his legs and she rested her back against his chest as his hands settled on her stomach.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Rose slightly taken aback at the question. No "are you okay?" or "what happened?", or anything. But Christian wasn't stupid, he would know that _no,_ everything was most certainly _not_ okay and that she really didn't want to talk about what happened.

"You're doing good right now."

Sighing, Rose laid her head back against his shoulder and she was about to fall asleep from metal exhaustion when he spoke up.

"Come on. I think we could both use a shower."

In the bathroom, Rose counted the white tiles on the floor as Christian filled the bath, the task, though small, distracting enough to sooth her a little bit. A larger, paler hand touched her shoulder and she jumped. Christian raised his hands and stepped back to give her space, like she was a cornered animal and he didn't want to scare her.

"Sorry. It's okay, I'm fine."

The dark haired man smiled softly, the hardness completely gone from his face in a way she'd never had the privilege to see before, and he touched her cheek gently, wiping off a tear she hadn't known had begun to trickle down her face.

"No, you're not."

And then he walked towards the door and she grabbed his hand, the sight of him leaving making her sick and she tugged on his arm so that he turned towards her.

They made love again three times before finally making it into the bath just to do it some more; sometimes hard and brutal like at the lake and sometimes soft and gently as a flower petal.

* * *

Christian made her leave her apartment and the teachers housing that night, leading her to a remote spot deep in the woods where he told her to scream, scream at the top of her lungs until the tears and emotion came out with it, and it was more therapeutic than anything she'd ever done. He'd made her scream in a whole different way next, up against the tree this time, and the bark scratched her back but she didn't mind.

"Having feeling hurts so much sometimes." She'd said on the walk back, holding his hand, because she just needed to touch him.

"It's hard, I know. It gives life more ways to hurt you, but it also gives you strength, purpose, and something to fight for." Christian had squeezed her hand, and Rose thought that over for the rest of the journey back to her apartment.

He stayed with her and comforted her nightmares when they went to bed, and every night for the next week, and although he wanted to help her in any way he could, he still found her with cuts on her wrist when he left her alone to get living necessities. Christian was doing all he could, but school was going to start soon and he wasn't sure what the fuck was going to happen. Rose would either get through her classes, or she'd get fired and be tossed out to fend for herself. Or worse; those cuts on her wrists would get deeper and he didn't even want to think about what would happen then. But whatever happened, no matter what he did, Christian knew she was the only one that could save herself. He knew she could do it, he firmly believed she could do anything, but the questions was…would she?

* * *

"We should talk."

Rose knew that was probably the last thing any guy ever wanted to hear, but she was feeling much more like herself and she had never cared to tell people what they wanted to hear before.

Christian nodded, setting down the grocery bag he had just walked through the door with on the kitchen counter. She played with a string on her sleeve. It was her first time out of pajamas in awhile, and while it was still yoga pants and a sweatshirt, at least it was something. She wanted to show him she was getting better.

"Yes, we should. Are you sure you're ready?"

"No, I'm not. But you deserve an explanation."

"Rose, you don't-"

"I know, but I need to."

He nodded.

And she told him everything, until she was sobbing again, and then he was holding her and she loved that he always seemed to want to touch her just as much as she wanted to touch him. He was so different from Dimitri, and so similar to her.

"I'm sorry I jumped your bones by the lake."

Christian grinned mischievously, pulling away from their hug to wipe away her tears.

"I'm not."

Rose laughed a little at that, and it was a harsh unfamiliar sound in her throat, but it was something.

"So we're…good?" She bit her lip nervously, the newfound feelings that had started to form for him fluttering in her stomach.

Christian smiled, chuckling and he gave her a chaste kiss.

"Yup, still friends, now we're just friends that have sex. And I'm totally cool with the improvement." Christian lied.

"Uh huh. Just friends." Rose lied back.

That made her stomach twist uncomfortably so she pulled away from him and his arms fell to his side.

"Alright, well Team Badass assemble later for a movie, I'm going to take a shower."

Christian kissed her one last time and playfully slapped her ass before heading into the bathroom. She was tempted to follow, but everything seemed so confusing suddenly that she went into the living room and planted herself on the couch to watch _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ on Netflix. Christian came out to watch with her in twenty minutes and they curled up together and eventually fell asleep as the singing episode finished on the TV.

* * *

Everything seemed to go well for a few months, which should have been a telltale sign everything was about to go wrong.

As autumn turned into winter, Rose got word that guardians in Europe had found her mother. Only, she wasn't exactly alive. But she wasn't exactly dead either. Her worst nightmare had come true, but Christian couldn't wake her up and make it go away this time.

She was in her apartment alone when she got the call, and Rose was sure there was probably more information that was said, but she had dropped the phone and couldn't remember how to pick it up. She kind of stumbled backwards, denial trying to do its job, but all she could see was the scene of when she had to stake Dimitri, but in her mind it was her mom.

And before she knew it she was vomiting on the floor, hot tears streaming down her face as she curled into a ball. Someone was screaming but Rose couldn't see through the water in her eyes, and it was only when she held the blade her to wrist that she realized it was her.

* * *

He found her in the same place she had found him all those weeks ago on the day this all began. Christian wrapped his arms around her and as the snake named Sterk that lived under the tree was killed by a large bird, Rose and Christian made love by the lake again, and though it was cold, Rose had never felt warmer when he told her he loved her.

Neither of them could see the hatching of the the turtle's eggs, or the young baby spiders as they ate their mother and took over the web.

Rose smiled up at Christian, softly caressing his cheek with her fingertips, as she admitted that she loved him as well.

She thought it was a shame they were just finding that out now after ten years, but now that he was there with her it was okay, because she knew deep down that someday, the pain inside her would get better because they had each other. It wouldn't be easy, nothing ever was in her world, but it would be worth it to love again. And now she had something in front of her, something to look forward to. She had hope, which is one of the most important things in the world.

* * *

**Author Note: **

**Anyone get the importance of the animals? They're there for a reason, not just because I like turtles. **

**Anyway, thanks for much for reading and please review! Questions or concerns, or just confused about something in the story then send me a PM.**


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